My Beef with dudes and Skinny Jeans

To Whom it may concern:

Let me begin by saying the following. This is not the wild rantings of a homophobe, or an advocate for dudes wearing baggy jeans. I just feel a certain degree on passion on this topic. Men, please hear my heart on this issue. Let me start off by telling a short story. This is a true story.

Once, while waiting in the DMV, I observed a guy get up from the chair parallel to mine. Apparently he thought his number was called, but noticed the mistake as he stood, looked as his paper, and sat back down. This was all I needed to shake my head in sorrow. Yes, you read right...I said sorrow. Let me explain. As the guy sat, I noticed that he tried to put the paper into his front pants pocket, but to no avail. As he shoved and shoved, the paper began to tear. Finally, in a bit of frustration, he stood up and attempted to complete his task. By now his pants legs were pulled upward to his calf, and I could see the dirty socks he wore. Now dirty sock aside - that's another topic altogether - these were jeans, ladies and gentlemen. Jeans! Jeans don't ride up to your calves. They're not supposed to! Finally, he saw me looking.

My eyes had been fixed on his eternal struggle, and a smirk formed at the sides of my mouth. I couldn't help laugh, it was really funny! As he looked at me, he couldn't help feel a sense of embarrassment. I noticed the red on his face and neck (no pun). Then something surprising happened. His face became angry, and he said to me..."you got a problem?" "Nah! I'm sure you have a mirror; you knew what you were getting into when you choose those pants," I retorted. I suppose my bold response shocked him, as he could only laugh and shake his head saying..."good one...good one." I laughed too.

Now that story aside, here's why you shouldn't wear skinnies, fellas. It looks gay! No diss to gay people, but if you're straight, just look the part! Be men, wear fitting jeans. Seriously, the effeminate metro sexual style that seems to plague this generation, just isn't cool. I'm not saying that I have a monopoly on what's "cool," I'm just saying that if you put a dollar in your front pocket, and four quarters pops out the back, then you have officially succeeded in making me uncomfortable.

OK, Im done with my venting. Truly sorry if this offends you!

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